Race date: 6 July 2024

Race distance: 4km

Elin Reeves and I have done the last few Round Sheffield Runs as a team, and since every team deserves an away day we’ve also done the Marple Beer Run. Team building isn’t just about building pipe-cleaner scaffolding and pin-the-Myers-Briggs-personality-type-on-the-introvert, it can also be about sprinting down a hill with a belly like a water-bomb, trying not to puke.

The premise of the race, as explained by Elin Reeves in last year’s report, is simple. Run 4km, drink a pint at each of the three beer stations handily placed along the route. At the end, collect a bottle-opener medal and a voucher for a well-earned pint (unless you win, in which case you also get a giant chalice. Of beer). When one of us explained this race to a man of a more traditional generation a couple of weeks prior, the response was “But what do the women do?” The answer is “get stuck in”, although no doubt he would be gratified to know that a gin and tonic option is available, open to all genders.

Last year, we had prepared well for the race, eating an early lunch on the train and arriving in plenty of time for a digestive amble round the town. This year, with the help of an unstable banking near Whaley Bridge, we stuffed it up. The trains were all over the place, so we had to change to a bus at Chinley. “We’ll set off early and have something to eat when we get there”, we thought. But the first bakery we went in didn’t have sandwiches, and the deli we went in turned out to be a sit-down rather than a takeaway. By now it was only an hour till race time, so we figured best get something. So we did. A huge bowl of soup for Elin and a massive plate of hummus and flatbread for me. Well done, round of applause, at least we hadn’t gone to the pub for pre-drinks like several of the other runners.

After collecting our numbers and filling in the “who-to-call-if-we-fall-over” bit on the back under the strict supervision of a marshal, we assembled on the start line like it was opening time at Spoons, then it was off down a very rutted track towards Beer Stop 1, near the historic Roman Lakes (not Roman, just old). The hummus started to make its bulk felt soon after, my stomach stretching like that Taiwanese whale (don’t Google it if you don’t already know) after only one pint. Undaunted we struggled slowly up the steep muddy hill to stop 2, where we took our time over the beer, steeling ourselves for another kilometre of running like the guy on the “Skegness is so Bracing” ad. At this point last year, we passed someone having a beer fail in the bushes, but this year’s entrants were made of sterner stuff, so we just trundled along, overtaking for the second time the competitor who was walking the whole thing but drinking very fast. Beer three is a bit of a blur, but it stayed down and finally the long downhill straight was in sight. It’s my favourite part, because you’re giddy enough from the beer to sprint it, but full enough that it’s impossible. We crossed the line, collected more beer and had a nice sit down.

The finish area is a beer garden, and there’s a turn and a barbecue, and it’s really tempting to hang out there and drink till your eyeballs have a head on them, but mindful of the transport bother we walked back into New Mills and had a couple at the Beer Shed while waiting for the bus to Chinley. Sadly, that bus was two minutes late to meet the Sheffield train, so we ended up watching the second half of the England match in the old Conservative Club, which was much less sombre than you’d think given the circumstances. For a 4km race, it was an extremely long day but a great laugh, and I reckon there’s some Striders who could win it.

The beer race was won by Andrew Steel in 17:10, which is incredibly more than 2 minutes slower than the course record. First female was Natasha Sutherland in 22:08. We finished just over a minute outside last time, which means we’ll have to do it again next year. On the plus side, we will no doubt do brilliantly in the winter RSR off the back of this valuable team away day.

Ian Bowker and Grace Guthrie won the gin race in 21:15 and 22:00 respectively.

Mercifully flat and transiently tasty beer was provided by local philanthropists Thornsett Brewery, Bollington Brewing and Runaway Brewery, while the people I try not to think of as cheats got to sample three different flavours of Didsbury Gin.

Striders results