Race date: 17–18 August 2024

Race distance: 24 hour (60 miles for me)

Race report by Matt Broadhead

Doctor doctor, I’m constantly tired, my mental health is sketchy and I don’t seem to find the time/energy to run much.

Pull yourself together man.

I think you’re in the wrong joke love.

Don’t call me love, and whatever you do don’t enter any endurance running events.

Ah.

For those who haven’t come across HOTH before, it’s a race series of different durations, where you do as many laps of the Humber Bridge as possible in the time you’ve chosen. This version took place over 24-hours, with two 6-hour, one 12-hour and one 24-hour event within it. I did the 24. The organisers and other competitors are very friendly, but other than water, crisps and Haribo (and temporary toilets) you’re unsupported. The graphic design is very cool.

I entered this on a bit of a whim after someone told me about it. I was excited in the run-up, and even made myself a little timetable of how I planned to run it. However, as Mike Tyson (apparently didn’t actually) said, “Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth”. The Humber Bridge has a big fist.

Given I’m now feeling a bit disappointed and ashamed, this report will mostly be a list of things I learned that may or may not be useful to future Humberers.

In no particular order:

• If you enter this race thinking “It’s fine, I’ve got time to train” you have to actually train during that time. I am not even marathon fit, it turns out.
• Typesetting a schedule with pretty colours does not mean you will run to schedule. I did for the first 6 hours (during which time I ran 28 miles) but then the feet fell off and I only did 32 miles in the next 18 hours.
• You have to do the training on road. The Humber Bridge surface is really hard. It’s thick steel with a skim of tarmac like those iced buns you didn’t make nearly enough icing for.
• The surface will find out any minor ill-fittingness in your shoes. Both my Asics and my newish Brooks had just a tiny bit too much arch support. After about 8 hours I ended up in the old road shoes I’d driven in, which were much better but it was too late.
• I must stop fooling around with other shoes. New Balance 860s (size 9, 2E width if you’re reading New Balance sponsorship dept) are the only ones that will ever love me back.
• The bridge is very tall, and the guardrail is not. Turns out I’m not as unafraid of heights as I thought, at least when tired, it’s dark and there’s a breeze blowing towards the fally-off side. The last 5 laps were terrifying.
• Damn that bridge is long. And non-flat.
• A tent is good to keep stuff in, the clever people brought a trolley to carry their stuff the 200m from the car park (and more importantly back).
• Humberside police cars look really cool zooming across a bridge at night.
• Don’t misread the race briefing and think there’s hot water. Your cup noodles are just luggage.
• The Tesco in Barton isn’t far if you need something, but it’s slightly farther than it looks from the bridge. This is important if you’ve already run 38 miles.
• The pub on the way to the Tesco in Barton is very tempting. Especially when you’ve run 38 miles.
• Walking is good. I walked loads. (I made sure I ran at least a little bit of each lap so I could justify them being runs on Strava.)
• Talk to the other competitors. Everyone was really friendly, full of encouragement. The bloke from Wigan who pitched his tent next to mine was an absolute diamond. He lent me his massage gun and when he dropped out about 12 hours in he gave me a (non-alcoholic) beer.
• I must work out how to fuel. I took lots of food, of many types, but I struggled with anything other than apples and Soreen. I drank so much Lucozade Sport it made me nauseous. The Thermos of coffee was useful, as was the minty chewing gum.
• Supermalt Mango & Passionfruit exists and they sell it in Hillsborough Morrisons.
• Resting is complicated! It seems that stopping altogether just means your muscles have time to get even more painful. It may sound trite but the people who seemed to be in the best nick late on were the ones who hadn’t really stopped. I stopped for rests, and even had a few little naps, and that really didn’t work.
• Remember you have to drive home. Cleverer people had booked the Premier Inn.
• I would like to have another crack, maybe at the 12-hour one, but I need to do a couple of road marathons I think, get some confidence back.

Results aren’t available at the time of writing, but I did 15 laps (60 miles). It was definitely the bloke with the moustache and the “Humberside” vest that won it. He was a machine, as was the bloke who did 80 miles just shy of his 75th birthday and the bloke who just walked, constantly, for 24 hours, and then picked up his backpack and set off walking home.